Christmas 2011

Christmas 2011

Zachary

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers

Sadie

Lilypie First Birthday tickers

2.02.2011

Poem

I have been contemplating on when to post this poem that a friend of mine put on her blog months ago.  The first time that I read this poem; I cried through the whole thing.  I had been feeling EXACTLY this way about our new baby girl.  As we get closer to her arrival; I am preparing myself to share my time with Zachary, but honestly it does not make it any easier and as I read the poem again today; I cried.  Am I excited about Miss Baby C - YES!!!!!!!  I can hardly wait, but I can't help but think of my little Zachary and how this is going to affect his life too.  Will it be rough in the beginning, absolutely, but I just keep telling myself that he & I will adjust to this precious little girl.

Here is poem:
I walk along holding your 22 month-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship.



Suddenly I feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.


And I wonder, how could I love another child as I love you?


Then she is born, and I watch you.


I watch as the pain you feel at having to share me as you have never shared me before.


I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me" and I hear myself telling you in mine "I can't".


Knowing in fact that I never can again.


You cry, I cry with you.


I almost see our baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.


A relationship we can never have again.


But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.


I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying her — as though I am betraying you.


But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.


More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.


The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast.


But something is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just us two.


There are new times — only now we are three.


I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.


I watch how she adores you, as I have for so long.


I see how excited you are by each of her new accomplishments.


I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you.


I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.


I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.


And my question is finally answered to my amazement.


Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you, only differently.


And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I know you'll never share my love.


There's enough of that for both of you — you each have your own supply.


I love you both and I thank you both for blessing my life.


—Author Unknown

1 comment:

Unknown said...

So, I know I am not about to tell you anything you do not know already, but, when that little miss comes, your heart will just instantly grow enough to enable you to be madly in love with both your son and daughter at the same time. I was WAY nervous about the same things you are when I was pregnant with my little miss (after all, I had had 3 1/2 years with just my Mr. Jacob), but one look at my Miss Brenna, and I knew it was all perfect. AND...I think my little man Jacob was more excited about his little sister than everyone else combined. God is amazing, and he works all of those little details out in His time.